Path of the Destroyer
by Phoenix Writer1
Summary: It is a terrible lesson to learn, but sometimes, healing can't begin unless you can admit the ones you love aren't coming back. Missing moment from the Departement of Mysteries OotP


**Disclaimer: JKR owns the whole shebang. I bow to her genius and claim nothing but the typos.**

**Author's Notes: Thank you so much to MadEye1200 and Greenfairy of Doom for the beta work and the advice. Love to you both! And Readers, please take a moment to review. Your comments really do help me more than you know.**

Neville staggered up the stone steps, one hand over his nose which was bleeding again and the other still clutching Hermione's wand. His legs were rubbery after having been under that Tarantallegra jinx for such a long time, but as he pulled himself up onto the next tread, he hardly noticed the weakness. A sudden jerk on Neville's collar yanked him back down a step and nearly off his feet.

"Hold up, there! Neville, take it easy. Easy, now. It's alright. Just stop."

"Provessor Lubid? Led be go! Harry -"

"I know, Neville, I know," Lupin responded in a tone that one might use to soothe a skittish horse. "There are others going after him already and you are in no shape to go yourself."

"Bud doan you doe who dat was? Dat was Belladrix Lestdrange! Harry can'd go afder her! She'll kill him or, or worse!" Neville struggled against Lupin's grip but it only caused a fresh flood of blood to stream from his broken nose. Slightly dizzy, he sagged against a stone bench for support.

Lupin's firm grip turned Neville round to face him. "I'll have a look at that nose then, shall I? I'm not much for mending breaks, but I think I can at least stop the bleeding."

Neville wanted to protest but the look in the older man's eyes held him mute. He'd seen that look before. That bottomless, hollow look he'd seen in his grandmother's eyes.

"You dew Sirius Black, doo, din'd you?" Neville asked sadly. The man's face faded a shade grayer and he nodded. "Dat was why Harry wend. Because of Black. He din'd really kill Harry's parends, did he?" Lupin shook his head, biting his lip. Neville sank down on the bench he'd been leaning against and looked away. "Maybe you _could_ do somethig about my dose, if you doan mide."

Lupin leaned over Neville without any sound but the low murmurs of healing spells. Neville didn't dare look up because he knew he'd see that empty look of pain again. That, and the thought of what might be happening to Harry at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange, that destroyer, was just too much. His gaze settled on the scuffed toe of Lupin's brown oxford and fixed there.

Neville felt a tingle run through his aching nose and cheek, causing him to suck in his breath and lift his eyes to Lupin's face, his fingers running tentatively over his nose.

I'm sorry, Neville," Lupin murmured. From his expression, Neville could see the man's thoughts were elsewhere. "I should have warned you that the clotting spell would sting a bit. Swelling should be down a bit, too. Ought to be more comfortable for the time being." He lowered himself to the bench opposite Neville and began his own empty examination of his shoes.

"Can we go after Harry now?" Neville asked, weakly. In his heart, he knew he hadn't the strength left to go anywhere but he couldn't just sit.

"No!" Lupin answered sharply, surprising Neville. He'd never heard his mild professor raise his voice like that before. He glanced over at the man in surprise. Lupin ran a tired hand through his graying sandy hair. "That is, there really isn't anything we can do but get in the way at this point. Didn't you see Dumbledore go after them? Right now, we need to round up the rest of you lot and see what the damage is."

Neither of them moved, however. Lupin's stare settled on his shoes again, blank and terrible. Neville flinched.

The man's silence proved more unsettling than the look in his eyes and after a moment, Neville was driven to speak.

"Sir? What happened tonight? Harry kept talking about someone being trapped by You Know Who. I think he thought it was Sirius Black and that didn't make sense to me. At least, it didn't before. I didn't know he was a friend of yours and Harry's."

"He -" Remus stopped and cleared his throat. "He was a very good friend." The man's gaze still hadn't moved from the floor, but he went on speaking in a hollow, mechanical sort of way. "He was Harry's godfather, you know. He would never have hurt James and Lily."

Neville got the impression that Lupin had forgotten all about him and was just thinking out loud now. He sat silently, letting him carry on.

"Sirius was innocent. He only wanted to protect them. We never dreamed Peter would turn on us that way. That's haunted him for years. He had nightmares about it. He was only thinking of Harry. Of James and Lily. James was the nearest thing to a brother Sirius ever had. Closer than his blood relatives." Lupin snorted softly. "Blood relatives. It always comes back to that. To blood. And now they are shedding it again. And Sirius -" He shut his eyes tightly and stopped.

Neville's throat tightened. His mind filled with the memory of coming home from a visit to St. Mungo's, clutching a fistful of gum wrappers and prattling on about when his parents would be home again. The memory echoed with words. _They aren't coming home. I'm sorry, but we must both face it. They aren't coming back._ Words he'd had difficulty forgiving but words he'd never forgotten. Ultimately, those words gave him healing when nothing else had.

Neville looked sadly at Remus Lupin. This quiet man had shown an interest and a confidence in Neville that few others ever had. That memory had driven Neville during those DA meetings when everyone else had managed to learn the spells Harry taught them and he still struggled. Now, the memory was swamped by pain and loss. Lupin sat hunched in on himself, eyes tightly shut, jaw clenched. Driven by he knew not what; Neville rose and placed an unsteady hand on the man's shoulder.

"He's gone, Professor. You could say it for Harry. Now, you need to say it for yourself. Sirius Black is gone and he isn't coming back."

Lupin lifted a tortured gaze to Neville's frank stare. He started to shake his head, to voice some sort of denial, but Neville gently squeezed his shoulder.

"You have to say it, sir. I'm not an expert at a lot of things, Professor, but I do know about people not coming back." His expression grew stiff, his features hardening. "These Death Eaters. They leave a path of destruction and what they destroy can't come back. That's how they do it you know. How they weaken us. They try to break us until we can't stand it anymore. They take what we love and nothing can bring it back. And if we can't face that, they win."

Lupin's agonized expression melted into a look of haunted wonder. Neville figured his own expression might be similar. He didn't know what had come over him but he'd never felt so certain of anything in his whole life.

Their eyes met and they watched each other for a moment, as if gauging one another's sincerity. Then, Lupin reached up, resting his hand on Neville's where it still gripped his shoulder. He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Sirius Black was the only one left of the best friends I ever had. Bellatrix Lestrange took him, destroyed him tonight." His eyes clenched shut again, a single tear tracking down his thin face. "And he isn't coming back."

Silence stretched between them, tortured and hollow. Then, Neville took his hand from Lupin's shoulder and turned to look up the steps toward the door. Lupin nodded wordlessly and, slowly, they helped each other up the stairs, leaving the empty archway behind them.


End file.
